


coffee talk

by esapastrnak



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Jack Zimmermann and his Tragic Hockey Backstory, Life in the NHL, M/M, Steve Dangle Podcast - Hockey RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esapastrnak/pseuds/esapastrnak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The nicest thing Montreal ever did for Jack was, surprisingly, trade him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	coffee talk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VictoriaPyrrhi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoriaPyrrhi/gifts).



> Merry Christmas! I hope your holiday(s) are amazing, and I hope you enjoy your fic!! (Also: I'm sorry this is so late, and I'm sorry it isn't better.)
> 
> Title from [Coffee Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEbaT5gvrP8) by Broadside because of old-man-grumpy-about-technology-Jack-Zimmermann: "lately, all I wanna do is lay around with you and complain about the youth."

The second-nicest thing Montreal ever did for Jack was force-feed the media the lie that his second hospitalization was for complications of his knee injury.

The nicest thing Montreal ever did for Jack was, _surprisingly_ , trade him.

 

_/ \\_

 

_Steve Dangle Podcast, 03/03/2015_

_Adam Wylde: Steve, we’ve gotta talk about the Jack Zimmermann trade. I know your head is exploding._

_Steve Dangle: HOLY SHIT. Are the Habs out of their GODDAMM MINDS? Dealing Jack Zimmermann at the trade deadline… Fuck._

_AW: So… yeah. In case you’ve been living under a rock during the past 36 hours, Habs (and Pens) legend Bad Bob Zimmermann’s son, Jack Zimmermann, was traded from the Montreal Canadiens to the Providence Falconers yesterday, 2 hours before the NHL’s trade deadline._

_SD: I swear to god, this is the Tyler Seguin trade all over again. I’ll tell you what, I was at Sportsnet when the report first came out, and boy, was that a shitshow. I thought it was a joke at first. They kept it real hush-hush. No one knew he was even on the market._

_AW: Producer Jesse, can you pull up the trade particulars? I’m curious. What, exactly, did the Falconers get, and what did the Habs give up?_

_Producer Jesse: Well, Montreal gave up Jack Zimmermann, a prospect named Matty McJimsey, and a conditional third for Alex Limb, John Willenborg, the Falconer’s 2017 first, and a conditional second._

_SD: Holy. Shit. I just… You saw my video, right? The Falconers gave up TWO roster spots, AND two draft picks? A first AND a second? AW: You think it’s a mistake? That Montreal fleeced ‘em? Jesse, remind me, what’s Zimmermann’s cap hit, and what’s the term?_

_PJ: He’s 24, and in the first year of a bridge contract. He’s making $2.75 million against the cap this year and next year, and then he’ll be a restricted free agent. His actual salary, with bonuses and stuff, is close to $4 million._

_AW: That’s actually not bad, salary cap wise._

_SD: It’s fucking stupid, is what it is._

_AW: For who, Steve?_

_SD: Montreal! What the hell were they thinking? I know what you’re about to say, “Oh, Steve, he’s not his dad. Look at his production, it’s so ~meh.” BULLCRAP. I know he spent a bit of time down in the A at Hamilton, but that was good for him! You all heard the rumors coming out of WJC ‘09 and the Draft. Kid was talented enough for the Show, but maybe not quite ready mentally. And then he gets called up, and Michel Therrien does his normal favoritism shtick, barely giving him any minutes. How’s he supposed to_ _produce when he’s not on the ice??? And then his knee injury. And fuck, the media. The Toronto media gets talked about like it’s the worst in the League, but Montreal? Fuck. At least we don’t have our own TMZ to stalk the players!_

_AW: But what about his off-ice stuff? You’ve heard the rumors._

_SD: I’ve fucking met Jack Zimmermann. He’s a hockey robot on the order of like… Crosby. I cannot even imagine the amount of stress he’s under. I think this trade was a HUGE mistake for Montreal. I think Jack Zimmermann has some personal stuff that he needs to take care of—I think it was affecting his hockey. I think that he’s gonna light it up in Providence. It’s a smaller market—less media, less crazy. And the Falcs just traded their number two centreman. He’s gonna have a spot ready-made for him; he’s not gonna have to fight tooth and nail for ice time._

_AW: So you think Providence wins this trade?_

_SD: Oh, absolutely._

 

_/ \\_

 

Jack gets traded on a Monday. That Wednesday, he’s in Rhode Island at the Dunkin’ Donuts Center, home of the Providence Falconers. He signs the paperwork, does the press conference. Pulls the jersey over his head as the twenty or so gathered reporters take pictures and stream video. It’s a nice surprise; when he signed with Montreal, that presser had over fifty reporters. Although that probably had something to do with his father standing over his shoulder, one hand heavy on his shoulder.

The jersey is stiff with newness, but the blue is familiar. It reminds him of Rimouski. It reminds him of the twelve unanswered voicemails from Las Vegas sitting in his phone.

His knee doesn’t hurt at all as he levers himself up from the table after answering a few generic questions—yes, he’s excited to be here; yes, Providence seems like a lovely city; yes, he’s looking forward to getting to know his new teammates. He follows the PR lady into the bowels of the Dunkin’ Donuts Center, to a section he’s never been to: the home locker room.

It’s empty of players—the rest of the team is at the practice arena, Cranston’s Memorial Ice. The locker room is dressed up, though: name plates over stalls filled with gear and jerseys hanging up. Jack walks to his stall—Zimmermann 15—and sits down. A team photographer swoops in and gets to work. Jack manages a brief comment on the quality of the guy’s camera, and it makes everyone smile.

He can feel it sneaking up on him—anxiety tinged with exhaustion and bolstered by stress. If he stops moving, starts thinking, it’s going to mean the end of his day. He doesn’t want to have a bad today, not today.

The PR lady returns—Jack thinks her name is Véronique, her accent reminds him of home—but this time she has a small, blond man with her. Véronique introduces him as Eric Bittle, her colleague in the PR department. Bittle has an accent Jack’s only heard on television, a small tin of something he calls “Welcome to Providence Mini-Pies” that he thrusts into Jack’s hands, and full control over the Falconer’s Snapchat account.

He uses his phone to film Jack taking a bite of the mini-pie—which turns out to be apple maple and extremely delicious—and saying a quick hello to the fans. “Hey, Falconers fans, Jack Zimmermann here. Thanks for giving me such a warm welcome, and I’m excited to see you all at tomorrow’s game.”

Bittle is still all-smiles as he quickly taps something out on his phone, before posting the snippet to the Falconers’ Snapchat story. He laughs when Jack tries to return the tin. “Oh, no! Those are Welcoming Mini-Pies, Mr. Zimmermann, made ‘specially for you. I won’t hear of their return.”

Jack feels an answering smile creep up as he takes another bite of mini-pie. “You can call me Jack.”

 

_/ \\_

 

Bittle—or Bitty, as Jack soon learns—is practically beloved by the rest of the Falconers.

Joseph “JoJo” Wilson, a veteran who wears the A for the Falconers, laughs when Jack comes to him, confused. “Heh, yeah, it surprised me too. But I’ve never seen a PR guy quite like him, ya know? He really cares, bakes those mini-pies and other shit—really pisses off the nutritionist, but even she turns a blind eye. And he’s good at his job. I don’t really get the whole social media thing, but it seems fun when he does it.” JoJo’s demeanor darkens a bit and he takes a step closer to Jack. “He’s been ‘out’ to us for a while, now, and nobody will have you being a dick to him, yeah, Zimmermann?”

“Never, JoJo,” Jack says softly.

JoJo smiles. “Alright, then. Why don’t you show me that shootout move you used to deke Lundqvist last week? That was a beaut.”

 

_/ \\_

 

Two of the rookies are having a competition to see who can be the most adorable on Snapchat.

Jack doesn’t quite understand what it is. Pictures? Videos? That disappear? He’s not entirely sure. Nevertheless, during practice Bittle can always be found recording snippets to post to the app.

The competition escalates during morning skate. They’re doing an easy shooting drill, lined up in two messy columns to take turns shooting on Demko, who’s going to be in net this evening’s game. Jack’s still focused, though. Just because morning skate is less formal than an actual practice, doesn’t mean it’s okay to just coast.

He has, of course, spotted Bittle and his phone along the far boards. The phone is held aloft, no doubt recording some little bit for Twitter, or Vine, or Snapchat, or whatever. (Why are there so many apps??)

Jack turns away, concentrating on Smitty failing dismally to get a shot passed Demko, and thus misses the drama: Finnish rookie Valtteri Tikkanen also spotting Bittle and waving excitedly at the camera.

Tumblr basically implodes.

 

_/ \\_

 

“Really, though, it was pretty adorable. The tumblr post has over one thousand notes. But now Willbur wants me to help him stage a cute snap of his own, but like, it’s gotta be authentic, you know? Spontaneous. The reason Terri’s snap was so successful was because it was candid and showed a bit of cute personality,” Bittle says, fiddling with his phone as he leans against a massage table.

Jack hums in agreement, still mostly concentrating on his stationary bike cooldown. But he’s finding Bittle commandeering his concentration more and more these days. “Are you going to be… Snapchatting tonight?”

Bittle laughs. “Of course!”

“Good.” Jack doesn’t want to mess with his pre-game routine. He’s not overly superstitious—not like some people—but he does have his routines, and he likes to stick with them.

But this is important.

Bitty—and he’s Bitty, now, if only in Jack’s head—loves Snapchat. Jack knows that it’s his second-favorite app, only defeated by Twitter, and Jack knows that he loves showing the fans little glimpses of the team behind the scenes. But since that first introductory snap, Jack… hasn’t really been a part of the Falconers’ Snapchat stories. Sure, he’ll be in the background when Bitty films them skating around on the ice during warmups, but he hasn’t really put any effort into it.

He wants that to change. Bitty is… important to Jack, and that makes the things that are important to Bitty, important to Jack.

Jack is hopeless at Twitter, that much he knows. But being genuine and, dare he say, cute for a ten second video, is something that he can do. Something he wants to do.

 

_/ \\_

 

This is what happens: Before a home game against the Minnesota Wild, already suited up in his pads, Jack grabs his extra sticks from one of the equipment guys and walks into the hallway leading up to the locker room.

Bitty is there, snapchatting an artsy video of the teams’ extra sticks leaned up against the wall.

Vaguely panicking, Jack tries to affect a demeanor of nonchalance as he walks up to the locker room door and gently leans his sticks against the wall with the others. He glances up at Bitty and his phone, now pointed at him, and throws up a quick smile and wave before shuffling into the locker room.

Just inside, Willbur—Conor Willenborg, a rookie defenseman whose stall is right next to the door—smirks at Jack and raises his eyebrows. “Bitty’s out there filming, ya know.”

“I know,” Jack says.

Willbur smiles. “Cool.”

 

_/ \\_

 

_Steve Dangle Podcast, 26/07/2017, Sportsnet 590 The Fan_

_Adam Wylde: Welcome to the Steve Dangle Podcast, thanks for tuning in! We’ve got a very special guest today, don’t we, Steve?_

_Steve Dangle: Why yes, Adam, yes we do._

_AW: Why don’t you tell the listeners who we’ve got with us today?”_

_SD: With us today is none other than Jack Zimmermann—CAPTAIN of the Providence Falconers, 2016 IIHF World Champion, and 2017 STANLEY CUP CHAMPION._

_AW: Congratulations, sir! Jack Zimmermann: Thanks. It’s a pleasure to be here_ _today._

_SD: Thanks for the plug, buddy. We here at SDP are a tinsey bit excited._

_Producer Jesse: A bit of an understatement._

_SD: Shut up, Jesse._

_AW: C’mon, guys!_

_SD: Alright, alright, alright. So, Jack, all kidding aside, thank you for choosing us to have your first ‘out’ interview with._

_JZ: You’re welcome. My partner, Bitty, uh, Eric Bittle, is a big fan of your videos and the podcast, and he uh, told me about how you guys supported me through the trade and everything that’s happened since then._

_SD: Shit, really???_

_AW: Wow. That’s… that’s awesome. How did you two meet?_

_JZ: He’s part of the PR team for the Falcs. We met two days after I was traded, the day I got to Providence and had the press conference and everything._

_AW: That’s pretty neat. It must have been a really tumultuous time for you, and that’s when you met your partner._

_JZ: Yeah. Meeting Bitty… it’s probably the biggest highlight of getting traded to Providence._

_SD: Not the Stanley Cup?_

_JZ: I would have had the chance to win the Stanley Cup anywhere. Someone in the Habs front office told me that I was almost traded to Calgary, and they won the Cup just last year. I could have been on that team; but I wouldn’t have meet Bitty. I don’t know if I would be the person I am today, if I hadn’t been traded to the Falconers._

_AW: He’s made that much of an impact on you?_

_JZ: Yes, but not just me. Everyone—the team, the front office, the fans—loves Bitty. He’s just… you want to be better when you’re around him. I wasn’t in the best spot after I was traded. I’d had a bad year in Montreal, both professionally and personally. My knee injury, and then my relapse. I got help, but I don’t think it would have stuck if I had stayed in Montreal. I’m not entirely sure if it would have stuck if I didn’t have the amazing support system I’ve got in Providence. It’s my home now._

_SD: And the Stanley Cup’s the icing on the cake?_

_JZ: Yeah, yeah it is._

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this fic, provided by:
> 
> [Certified Cutiepie Marko Dano re: Chicago Blackhawks' Snapchat](http://vnriemsdyk.tumblr.com/post/132450786415/protect-him-at-all-costs)
> 
> [The Cutest Little Piece of Bread aka Artemi Panarin re: Chicago Blackhawks' Snapchat](http://vnriemsdyk.tumblr.com/post/133016172560/the-cutest-little-piece-of-bread)
> 
> [The Steve Dangle Podcast (which is amazing and also my favorite. The link goes to the most recent episode, which is coincidentally a Best Of. The first 20 minutes includes one of the best Dangle Rants of all time.)](https://soundcloud.com/steve-dangle-podcast/the-steve-dangle-podcast-dec-24-2015)
> 
> One reason I had a spot of trouble with this fic was because my heart has been taken over by WJC, which starts tomorrow (on NHL Network, 1pm ET if anyone's interested) [World Juniors.](http://tempe-toews.tumblr.com/post/135361842227/tempe-toews-nhlfucale-panic-at-the-disco-x) Which I KNOW Jack Zimmermann took part in. He was probably Captain of Team Canada too. But that's juniors, not life in the NHL, so...


End file.
